El plod!

..When you look out of the bar there is a street which looks pedestrianised. It is the access to Mount Benidorm and various residendias. Equally it is access to the bars for the delivery vans bringing in fresh supplies of booze and food. So on a sunny day it's nice to sit with a glass in hand looking out to sea across the street and beyond the street to the beach.

On a regular basis there is the Policia Local patrols by car and on foot. The Policia Local are one up from say an English traffic warden, they have responsibility to check bar licenses and vehicle details, slap a ticket on illegally parked cars and generally keep order amongst the general populous. They also carry guns unlike (fortunately) English traffic wardens.

The Guardia Civil also patrol the street. This group was formed by the renowned General Franco, and the Guardia are a different animal altogether. They also carry guns.

Word got to the Marina bar from another bar in the Boulevard that an elderly ex Pat English couple were sat in a boulevard bar, enjoying a quiet drink and tapa, when a white van screeched to a halt outside the bar, 6 men with guns and machine guns leaped from the van and encircled the table opposite them demanding that the people lie down on the floor and put their hands behind their backs. One of the armed men flashed a card at the now traumatised elderlies to show he was a policeman. Apparently the three on the floor had earlier robbed a Benidorm bank, which unbeknown to them was being staked by the Guardia. The gang sped out of Benidorm in getaway mode, but fancied a cafe con leche and turned into La Cala calling at the first bar they saw. The Guardia followed them at a discreet distance and did the arrest. On the patio next to the table the police recovered four carried bags full of Euro notes. I don't know the nationality of the villains, but one or two here did imply Hibernian origin...

...Back to the street outside the bar, Avinida Marina Baixa to be precise. It is due to patient observation and 10 years of driving to and from Spain that my tourist friend Dave came to the conclusion that the Spanish went from the Donkey to the car too quickly, and that he is beginning to believe that an indicator on a Spanish-plated car is an optional extra.

A roundabout is like a game of Russian roulette in Spain, the oncoming driver may comply and go around it anti-clockwise if it is absolutely obvious that's what he must do, otherwise he could go clockwise if its the fastest way to the road he wants to go down. Now the Marina Baixa is a one way street from the Marina bar onwards. Up to the bar it is permissible for drivers who live in the apartments next door to drive the short distance to the roundabout. But any traffic from beyond that point must not drive in the direction of the roundabout. Motor cycles almost always ignore the rule, other drivers believe if they reverse, technically, they are not breaking the rule, and delivery vans find parking on the roundabout is the best solution for them. That is until the No 41 or No 12 buses into Benidorm arrive. This is when pandemonium breaks out. If all of these circumstances converge then it isn't long before the Policia Local arrive. And they take very little notice of excuses. If there is a rule the Policia do not deviate, now perhaps, the fact they are on a bonus linked to arrests and fines, could have a bearing on that.

So the day the roundabout was blocked by a van, and the motorbike driving the wrong way was caught by the policia and the drunk driver would not give way to the bus even when the policeman got his gun out, lingers easily in my mind. The drunk driver must have earned them the biggest bonus points, the driver refused point blank to budge, the bus driver had his hand fixed on the horn, the motor bike rider was off up the road with no chance of hot pursuit.

I was on mahou number 3 by the time it all subsided.

The solution happened in a flash, the policeman with the gun pointed it through the window whilst opening the door, policeman number 2 grabbed the driver spun him like a top and handcuffed him, policeman number 3 jumped in the car reversed it quickly and parked in a no waiting bay, policeman number 4 waived the bus on. Gridlock became unlocked, no doubt the policemen got bonus points the bike rider got away and we had an hours free entertainment second to none...