...I have already commented on the standard of driving here in Spain, and its not just confined to the Spanish. A couple of weeks ago I was returning from Benidorm New Town and decided to go down the Terra Mitica road because the N332 was almost at a standstill. It was around siesta time so people were clearly leaving work for their two/three hour break.
Terra Mitica is a theme park with those sorts of rides which scare you to death and you pay for the privilege. It's a very nice drive too along the avenue, at each roundabout there are fountains and very elaborate too. I digress.
I turned onto the road which leads to La Marina shopping Centre and down to the roundabout where the Repsol garage is. It was more like a carousel than a roundabout. The Spanish as usual in the wrong lanes and not indicating so it was guesswork as to who was going where and when I should set off. Eventually I spied my chances and set off in front of a motor scooter. I arrived home fairly harassed with the state of the traffic.
A couple of days later we met up with Patrick and Neil (owners of Paneils restaurant), it was a Sunday lunchtime and we wanted, at some stage, to dine. We tried the Spanish bars but all were booked for the day. We tried the Italian, they were about to close for the afternoon. Eventually we managed to get a table for 11 people which yes we had now expanded as a group. There were Barry and Kevin,Pat, Peter and Dave, Gary and Michael, Neil and Patrick, Me and my wife Ange.
Whilst we were waiting to be served Neil said to me "hey bugger-lugs, you carved me up at the roundabout the other day I was on the scooter." "I had loads of time to get out." I defensively replied. I won't repeat the words he expressed, needless to say I had carved him up as far as he was concerned so I accepted, almost gracefully.
The thing is I am sure I am becoming Spanish in my driving style. Although I have slowed down a lot on the motorway. But on the motorway the Spanish don't follow any highway code, its every man and woman for themselves. I was driving to Alicante the other day and in the outside lane, a BMW travelling at 10 or 20 kilometers faster than the speed limit passed me on the inside and as many cars in front of me as he could until one car having had enough of the congestion floated into the inside lane into the path of the beemer, who then had to apply brakes rapido, and jerked the steering wheel to put the car in the outside lane. All the cars you could see were applying brakes to avoid hitting the idiot.
More often than not the main causes of accidents are scooter and motorbike riders. They have absolutely no lane sense whatsoever. If there is a gap beside, behind or in front of you they will fill it. If you are queuing at traffic lights they will edge past you in the middle lane then cross in front of you back along side the next car repeating until they reach the front.
The most annoying procedure is queuing at traffic lights. Two lanes of traffic, the left is to turn left across oncoming traffic, or go straight on, the right lane is also to go straight on or turn right. There is an amber flashing arrow for those turning right which means safe to proceed unless pedestrians are crossing. There is a light for pedestrians crossing in front of the queuing traffic which is green and a red light for those vehicles going forward and left. No one watches the red light they watch the little green pedestrian man waiting for him to go red. When it does you hear an increased engine noise from car and scooter alike and they are off before the red traffic light goes green, it doesn't do amber in this sequence. This is like the start of the Le Mann's 24 hour race, what no one has anticipated is the car/lorry/bus/van double parked up ahead and as soon as those on the right do they head left irrespective of who is at the side of them, this is where Le Mann's becomes the dodgems. Horns blast fists shake, windows open and Spanish swear words abound.
Now as the Spanish are not renowned for their patience at queuing, a roundabout is almost like a battle ground. It is put in place to aid traffic progress, but that's assuming people indicate, sit in the correct lane and have some courtesy should they end up queuing on the roundabout. Bad assumption in Spain. Some keep in the inside lane and go all around the roundabout until the last exit. Some start off in the outside lane and exit at the first exit. No-one lets anyone in. The most effective aid to negotiating a roundabout is the car horn.
However as for me carving Neil up...Patrick is no angel where the scooter is concerned, none of his friends observed this and he could have got away with it, but he sent the story out on Facebook and by email, so here is Patrick's faux pas.
So Patrick is in the middle of Benidorm on a packed shopping day and is on his scooter when his path becomes blocked by an accident where two vehicles with loads of passengers had bumped each other. Whilst the passengers decamped the path for Patrick was blocked, and he was late for an appointment. His only escape was the pavement, so instead of a few revs and easing the clutch out he inadvertently hit the revs with fast clutch release, and mounted the pavement and straight into a cafe terrace (fortunately it was not full of customers) he hit three closed parasols, he knocked two tables and eight chairs over, coming to rest in the middle of the terrace on an upturned table with ashtrays, napkins and menus strewn around. The rather camp waiter came over to him saying "Don't worry sir, calm down, calm down, would you like a tea coffee or beer?"
Patrick could do little else but sit there laughing with his silver helmet on. He did say he ordered a glass of water.
Patrick having just mastered the art of Facebook, set up a message and sent around his friends list. So you have to admire the guy for giving everyone a laugh at his expense, but only Duncan could write back and say "did you get the waiter's number".......
The Marina Bar
La Cala de Finestrat beach. On the right of this page there are site links of people who have been in my blogs. Feel free to go have a look.
Friday, 31 October 2008
Thursday, 30 October 2008
Home winter comforts - and water
...British ex-pats need some home comforts and this becomes more apparent during the cold autumn and winter nights. Many can manage to obtain English channels via various companies advertising in the 'Round Town News' or the 'Costa Blanca weekly'. There is also REM FM along with other English speaking radio, however REM FM is my particular favourite.
One company called 'Telemicro' has recently been closed down by the Spanish Guardia Civil. No one is quite sure what the charge is, but it is known that re-broadcasting UK terrestrial and satellite channel is illegal without obtaining a licence. This meant that thousands of ex-pat Brits lost their television signal having paid several hundreds of euros for the service. There is only one left as far as I know and how safe that company is will be determined in time. However, many people are keeping up with the soaps and the series here in real time. For those who don't have real time TV there is a service whereby the main soaps and special programmes are put onto DVDs and sold for 5 euros each and i am not sure how legitimate that is either.
I tend to enjoy radio more than most media. REM FM which broadcasts to all the costas. It has presenters based all the way from Altea to Tenerife, so you get local National and International news and information. They supply their own censorship which is pragmatic but not 'Nanny state' like the BBC. So the odd risque comment will emerge but its far more natural than total censorship.
The station is owned by a chap called Maurice Bowland, he is well known in the entertainment world in Ireland. I listen particularly to a few broadcaster. Hannah Murray does and afternoon slot which is probably REM's version of women's hour. In a morning there is Howard Brearaton, he tends to give a round up of Spanish news. On the hour every hour we get a news bulletin from IRN news Independent Radio News. A Guy called Steve Ritson operates out of Altea and he can be satirical and serious. The nice thing about the station is you can ring them, or send a message by MSN and they do try to respond and converse on air with you. They are supremely supportive of the community. They promote Spain as a country and they support many charities. If you wish to listen this link will take you to their page http://www.rem.fm/ where you can listen live.
On Sundays they have been playing old broadcasts of the 'Navy Lark,' call me boring but I really enjoy them and listen when I can.
Now this bit is sad. We are all excited in the ex-pat world, why? because C&A have open in La Marina centre. I know what you are thinking "You want to get out more" but if you are a large chap like me then regular Spanish sizes are no use to me whatsoever. C&A have sizes that fit. If I buy a top I need XXL shoes size 12, waist 38 but inside leg 34. Spanish sizes assume you have 38 waist and 28 inside leg. And no penalty for getting a larger size, I got 3 tops all costing 9 euros 95 cents each. On the same day I went to Carrefour and bought a Litre bottle of grouse whiskey for eight and a half Euros. So the credit crunch hasn't yet bitten here. Although an average MacDonald's meal deal here costs the same price as my litre bottle of whiskey.
The Finestrat council are building a wall in front of the shops on the Avenida marina baixa, from the Pharmacy down to the Cam bank. This is to divert the rain water which turns into a flood when the rain comes. In principle it seems a good idea, but if you narrow the width of the channel, it tends to get deeper in the middle, and next to the cam bank is an entrance to a car park which has no barrier and is at the point where the river will start to widen so no guessing where that water is going to go. The shop keepers must be thankful though because they have to bail water out of their premises every autumn and winter. The Spanish do seem to struggle with water. We now have new street lighting in the car park in the bay, the Mayor of Finestrat said it was necessary because every time it rained they went out. On the beach there is a notice board welcoming you to La Cala de Finestrat, it has a clock in it that hasn't worked for 3 years since it fused during a downpour, and the electronic lock release usually doesn't work when its raining either. The worst thing to stop working is the automatic door for our car park, because then you have to find the portero and get him to crank it open manually.
Most of our friends who travel too and from Spain rather than staying here all the time are back in the UK. The next time we are likely to see them is around New Year's Eve. Gary and Michael, Gary and Marian, Laurence and Tony, Jeremy and Colin are a few of those coming back.
The days at the Marina Bar now are with the ex-pats who live here all the time more or less. Although as it has cooled off somewhat we haven't been seeing those much. We see Pat and Brenda, Pat is usually a blurred streak as she marches past off up to the shops, she always has a shopping bag and we see Brenda in the distance going to meet Pat at the bus stop. They have taken up dance classes up in benidorm New Town near the Orange hotel. It is Classical and salsa, but it appears there are not enough men to partner, so I wouldn't be surprised if there are one or two would be Fred Astaire's lining up for the invitation. Knowing these two independent ladies I think the Fred Astaire aspirants are misguided. Pete and Dave are still here until the 20 th November and on Tuesday we went up for a meal at Da Vinci an Italian restaurant up the road. The lads both had the Spaghetti marinara and Ange and I had the Penne Ametricana we shared a garlic bread and finished the meal off with a couple of Sambucas. Then it was down to the Marina bar for a nightcap where Jonathan and Rick joined us. The subject was the skit Peter Kay made of X-factor on the previous weekend and how funny it was. We all thought it was brilliant that Simon Cowell was so rattled by it he had to rubbish it. That just goes to prove how good Peter Kay was.
We realised how late it was getting because Pepi and Salvador were stacking the chairs and moving the tables inside as they prepared to close the restaurant. So we ordered our bills and paid and started to leave when Dave said "Did you watch that show where Peter Kay dressed up as a transsexual"..... Where had he been all night...
One company called 'Telemicro' has recently been closed down by the Spanish Guardia Civil. No one is quite sure what the charge is, but it is known that re-broadcasting UK terrestrial and satellite channel is illegal without obtaining a licence. This meant that thousands of ex-pat Brits lost their television signal having paid several hundreds of euros for the service. There is only one left as far as I know and how safe that company is will be determined in time. However, many people are keeping up with the soaps and the series here in real time. For those who don't have real time TV there is a service whereby the main soaps and special programmes are put onto DVDs and sold for 5 euros each and i am not sure how legitimate that is either.
I tend to enjoy radio more than most media. REM FM which broadcasts to all the costas. It has presenters based all the way from Altea to Tenerife, so you get local National and International news and information. They supply their own censorship which is pragmatic but not 'Nanny state' like the BBC. So the odd risque comment will emerge but its far more natural than total censorship.
The station is owned by a chap called Maurice Bowland, he is well known in the entertainment world in Ireland. I listen particularly to a few broadcaster. Hannah Murray does and afternoon slot which is probably REM's version of women's hour. In a morning there is Howard Brearaton, he tends to give a round up of Spanish news. On the hour every hour we get a news bulletin from IRN news Independent Radio News. A Guy called Steve Ritson operates out of Altea and he can be satirical and serious. The nice thing about the station is you can ring them, or send a message by MSN and they do try to respond and converse on air with you. They are supremely supportive of the community. They promote Spain as a country and they support many charities. If you wish to listen this link will take you to their page http://www.rem.fm/ where you can listen live.
On Sundays they have been playing old broadcasts of the 'Navy Lark,' call me boring but I really enjoy them and listen when I can.
Now this bit is sad. We are all excited in the ex-pat world, why? because C&A have open in La Marina centre. I know what you are thinking "You want to get out more" but if you are a large chap like me then regular Spanish sizes are no use to me whatsoever. C&A have sizes that fit. If I buy a top I need XXL shoes size 12, waist 38 but inside leg 34. Spanish sizes assume you have 38 waist and 28 inside leg. And no penalty for getting a larger size, I got 3 tops all costing 9 euros 95 cents each. On the same day I went to Carrefour and bought a Litre bottle of grouse whiskey for eight and a half Euros. So the credit crunch hasn't yet bitten here. Although an average MacDonald's meal deal here costs the same price as my litre bottle of whiskey.
The Finestrat council are building a wall in front of the shops on the Avenida marina baixa, from the Pharmacy down to the Cam bank. This is to divert the rain water which turns into a flood when the rain comes. In principle it seems a good idea, but if you narrow the width of the channel, it tends to get deeper in the middle, and next to the cam bank is an entrance to a car park which has no barrier and is at the point where the river will start to widen so no guessing where that water is going to go. The shop keepers must be thankful though because they have to bail water out of their premises every autumn and winter. The Spanish do seem to struggle with water. We now have new street lighting in the car park in the bay, the Mayor of Finestrat said it was necessary because every time it rained they went out. On the beach there is a notice board welcoming you to La Cala de Finestrat, it has a clock in it that hasn't worked for 3 years since it fused during a downpour, and the electronic lock release usually doesn't work when its raining either. The worst thing to stop working is the automatic door for our car park, because then you have to find the portero and get him to crank it open manually.
Most of our friends who travel too and from Spain rather than staying here all the time are back in the UK. The next time we are likely to see them is around New Year's Eve. Gary and Michael, Gary and Marian, Laurence and Tony, Jeremy and Colin are a few of those coming back.
The days at the Marina Bar now are with the ex-pats who live here all the time more or less. Although as it has cooled off somewhat we haven't been seeing those much. We see Pat and Brenda, Pat is usually a blurred streak as she marches past off up to the shops, she always has a shopping bag and we see Brenda in the distance going to meet Pat at the bus stop. They have taken up dance classes up in benidorm New Town near the Orange hotel. It is Classical and salsa, but it appears there are not enough men to partner, so I wouldn't be surprised if there are one or two would be Fred Astaire's lining up for the invitation. Knowing these two independent ladies I think the Fred Astaire aspirants are misguided. Pete and Dave are still here until the 20 th November and on Tuesday we went up for a meal at Da Vinci an Italian restaurant up the road. The lads both had the Spaghetti marinara and Ange and I had the Penne Ametricana we shared a garlic bread and finished the meal off with a couple of Sambucas. Then it was down to the Marina bar for a nightcap where Jonathan and Rick joined us. The subject was the skit Peter Kay made of X-factor on the previous weekend and how funny it was. We all thought it was brilliant that Simon Cowell was so rattled by it he had to rubbish it. That just goes to prove how good Peter Kay was.
We realised how late it was getting because Pepi and Salvador were stacking the chairs and moving the tables inside as they prepared to close the restaurant. So we ordered our bills and paid and started to leave when Dave said "Did you watch that show where Peter Kay dressed up as a transsexual"..... Where had he been all night...
Credit crunch and chilly nights
...Its getting chilly in the evenings now, if there is no sun it can be quite cool in the day. Ex-pats and native Spaniards have taken to wearing long sleeves and carry a coat. But the hardy tourists are still in shorts and T shirts as they wander round the bay. The annual deluge of rain has washed a large quantity of sand off the beach and into the sea. The waves are quite high, and the surfers have returned. They sit off shore waiting for the highest waves to form and then paddle with their arms before standing to ride out the wave. Now this is no Bondi beach so the surfing is short-lived but considering the Mediterranean is none tidal they are doing quite well.
Antonio and Pepi, the proprietors of the Marina bar are worrying about trade (mind you they always are). The number of visitors are dwindling now due to the season and the credit crunch may also be putting off would-be tourists as the Euro gets ever stronger against the Pound. But unexpected publicity from the Daily Express this morning is placing Benidorm well and truly on the map. Equally last night's television awards saw the series 'Benidorm' scoop the 'best comedy programme' award.
As the newspaper pointed out Benidorm has 600 bars 70 of which are British theme pubs, In the town there are 330 tower blocks mostly high rise, because Don Pedro (the man responsible for Benidorm's success and one time mayor) recognised there was little space for spread out housing he made it clear that building upwards was the best way of getting more people into Benidorm. He laid down some rules. Every apartment should have a sea view and every balcony should have sun shining on them. Today you can see apartments are angled to take advantage of the gaps between other buildings. Don Pedro died earlier this year and how much the Spanish people loved this man is borne out by the massive numbers of people who turned out for his memorial.
One thing that was in danger of spoiling Benidorm's appeal was the invention of bikinis, which offended the Catholic church and it was a public offence to wear them in public, the police used to fine people as they left the beach. So Don Pedro declared it acceptable to wear bikinis in benidorm. The church counteracted and threatened to ex-communicate him, which was about as bad as it could be in the 1950's. So Don Pedro got on his Vespa scooter and rode to Madrid for a personal interview with General Franco. Franco was so impressed with Don Pedro, that he came back with him to benidorm to look for himself and remained friends with Don Pedro until he died. The article in the Express was reporting that Professor Phillipe Duhamel, a Geographer at the university of Angers in France is asking for Benidorm to be recognised as being in the same category as 'Stonehenge', 'Taj Mahal' and the 'Acropolis' in other words a UNESCO World Heritage site. Which obviously amuses some observers, but there Don Pedro was a unique planner and Benidorm was his brainchild built specifically to satisfy the tourist.
So as Benidorm gets around 1.5 million British visitors each year, it is no surprise that the British bring a lot of income for the bars and no surprise that a shrewd brother act of Antonio and Pepi want to look after the British in their 'Bar maria' as pictured at the top of this blog.
So the singers they book each year are expected soon. If you remember last year there was Cheryl, who does a Dolly Parton tribute, and Andrea who last year did an act called 'Just a Girl' also does a 'Madonna and Cher' tribute and her web site is http://www.backstagepass.org.uk/ worth having a look and if any of my readers are from England Andrea performs there too. Their are two other acts both play keyboard.
So, the bar owners employ British singers, English translated menus with a section containing, Beef curry and chips, chicken curry and chips, fish and chips, and pie and chips. As well as traditional Spanish food such as sepia a la plancha and calamares. Last night it was a bit chilly so they also rolled out their new calor gas powered garden heaters to welcome passing trade and keep the current customer from leaving. Pepi brought the newspaper to me and asked 'Bob can you see eef der ees any eengleesh football on theeee televeesyon esta noche' So I managed to find a televised match and he proceeded to find it on his satellite remote control.
What about the Spanish customers you may well ask?
The Spanish tourists are very unlike the British. Where most British tourists like to spend on a drink and some of food, the Spanish tend to be driven by meal times and price. They rise and have breakfast, they will have a coffee around 10am and maybe a croissant or cake, at 12 another coffee and snack, and at 2 pm it is their main feeding time. They will go to a Spanish cafe/restaurant which will have a menu del dia and an a la carte section. They will eat and probably drink water, nowadays some may take wine but that is likely to be a glass not a bottle. At 4 or 5 pm they tend to go for a stroll, at the seaside this will be along the promenade known as to 'paseo' as we say to promenade and at some stage someone will need refreshment. From the Marina business plan point of view, this section of the population is lost to them and therefore discouraged from stopping by, because if within a group of 5 promenaders, one requires to quench their thirst, they will enter the nearest bar, take up 5 places and buy one drink, usually cafe cortado, or cafe Americana, or cafe con hiello (coffee and ice) and the rest will watch all talking in unison. This will last about an hour or 90 minutes. So from a profitability point of view not attractive.
The British bring in great profits, but the British still fall into two groups, the tourist and the ex-pat. The tourist will come in and may not just drink they may also buy food. I recently pointed out to Pepi he was potentially losing out because people come by pick up what they think is a menu (which is really a cocktail menu) when they realise it isn't one they move on. 'So why not get some small laminated menu's Pepi?" "I teenk dees is a good idea" he replied with gratitude. Sure enough within a week they appeared. Now you see browsers turning into customers, I really should ask for commission. Anyway, once in the tourist buys the mandatory San Miguel or a jug of Sangria. asks for the full menu and their eyes light up at the thought of meat pie chip and peas with gravy. So pies all round and a hot dog for the kids, who by now realise how close they are to the beach and wander off to play in the sand. Right next door to the marina bar is a shop that sells buckets and spades and all types of amphibious plastic for the lazy swimmers. So usually you see the odd parent wandering away from the table to buy something to keep the kids happy, whilst they indulge in a few drinks.
Every ex-pat and all the bar staff know that those on the front line are bait. Because sooner or later the people they met in the hotel last night will wander by. They will all start talking and eventually an impromptu party begins. Drunkenness is fuelled by Jesus who, I am convinced, is on commission. "Hola!" he meets and greets, takes their orders and then hovers like a vulture. He creeps over to remove the empties and instantly he shouts "uno mass, one more"? and like flies into a spiders web they have ordered more drinks without even realising it. And the more they drink the less controlled they are and the kids run to and from the beach begging their parents to come look at the sand castle, and in the process someone knock over a table full of drinks. No problem at all to Jesus it means more bought drinks, and he willingly cleans up the mess. They pay their bill and as Jesus returns with the change, he has poured out this Spanish drink for them, free of charge as a final reminder that they are the best bar in the bay. By the time they have left Jesus knows their names and he memorises them, because tomorrow as they walk past he will call to them like lost relations, which will impress them and they will be back.
The other group the ex-pats well we are different, we know the tricks and methods and we pose a bigger challenge to them. So they treat us well on prices, and always give us a free whatever we have been drinking on the house when we pay our bills, but woe betide any ex-pat who dares to drink next door in La Cala Cala bar. Jesus has been known to throw peanuts at such offenders and pull faces, which is not a pretty sight. But in general the marina bar is the cheapest in the bay for ex-pats and that show how shrewd they are in they they manage to maintain our custom.
And Benidorm, how does it manage to lure so many tourists back? Well if you are one of the many Brits who have never been but tell people how rubbish it is, come and give it a try. There is something for everyone here, its a great town, which can be sedate as well as chaotic, sober and inebriated, but always a friendly place.
Oh and wall to wall sunshine doesn't do any harm either...
Antonio and Pepi, the proprietors of the Marina bar are worrying about trade (mind you they always are). The number of visitors are dwindling now due to the season and the credit crunch may also be putting off would-be tourists as the Euro gets ever stronger against the Pound. But unexpected publicity from the Daily Express this morning is placing Benidorm well and truly on the map. Equally last night's television awards saw the series 'Benidorm' scoop the 'best comedy programme' award.
As the newspaper pointed out Benidorm has 600 bars 70 of which are British theme pubs, In the town there are 330 tower blocks mostly high rise, because Don Pedro (the man responsible for Benidorm's success and one time mayor) recognised there was little space for spread out housing he made it clear that building upwards was the best way of getting more people into Benidorm. He laid down some rules. Every apartment should have a sea view and every balcony should have sun shining on them. Today you can see apartments are angled to take advantage of the gaps between other buildings. Don Pedro died earlier this year and how much the Spanish people loved this man is borne out by the massive numbers of people who turned out for his memorial.
One thing that was in danger of spoiling Benidorm's appeal was the invention of bikinis, which offended the Catholic church and it was a public offence to wear them in public, the police used to fine people as they left the beach. So Don Pedro declared it acceptable to wear bikinis in benidorm. The church counteracted and threatened to ex-communicate him, which was about as bad as it could be in the 1950's. So Don Pedro got on his Vespa scooter and rode to Madrid for a personal interview with General Franco. Franco was so impressed with Don Pedro, that he came back with him to benidorm to look for himself and remained friends with Don Pedro until he died. The article in the Express was reporting that Professor Phillipe Duhamel, a Geographer at the university of Angers in France is asking for Benidorm to be recognised as being in the same category as 'Stonehenge', 'Taj Mahal' and the 'Acropolis' in other words a UNESCO World Heritage site. Which obviously amuses some observers, but there Don Pedro was a unique planner and Benidorm was his brainchild built specifically to satisfy the tourist.
So as Benidorm gets around 1.5 million British visitors each year, it is no surprise that the British bring a lot of income for the bars and no surprise that a shrewd brother act of Antonio and Pepi want to look after the British in their 'Bar maria' as pictured at the top of this blog.
So the singers they book each year are expected soon. If you remember last year there was Cheryl, who does a Dolly Parton tribute, and Andrea who last year did an act called 'Just a Girl' also does a 'Madonna and Cher' tribute and her web site is http://www.backstagepass.org.uk/ worth having a look and if any of my readers are from England Andrea performs there too. Their are two other acts both play keyboard.
So, the bar owners employ British singers, English translated menus with a section containing, Beef curry and chips, chicken curry and chips, fish and chips, and pie and chips. As well as traditional Spanish food such as sepia a la plancha and calamares. Last night it was a bit chilly so they also rolled out their new calor gas powered garden heaters to welcome passing trade and keep the current customer from leaving. Pepi brought the newspaper to me and asked 'Bob can you see eef der ees any eengleesh football on theeee televeesyon esta noche' So I managed to find a televised match and he proceeded to find it on his satellite remote control.
What about the Spanish customers you may well ask?
The Spanish tourists are very unlike the British. Where most British tourists like to spend on a drink and some of food, the Spanish tend to be driven by meal times and price. They rise and have breakfast, they will have a coffee around 10am and maybe a croissant or cake, at 12 another coffee and snack, and at 2 pm it is their main feeding time. They will go to a Spanish cafe/restaurant which will have a menu del dia and an a la carte section. They will eat and probably drink water, nowadays some may take wine but that is likely to be a glass not a bottle. At 4 or 5 pm they tend to go for a stroll, at the seaside this will be along the promenade known as to 'paseo' as we say to promenade and at some stage someone will need refreshment. From the Marina business plan point of view, this section of the population is lost to them and therefore discouraged from stopping by, because if within a group of 5 promenaders, one requires to quench their thirst, they will enter the nearest bar, take up 5 places and buy one drink, usually cafe cortado, or cafe Americana, or cafe con hiello (coffee and ice) and the rest will watch all talking in unison. This will last about an hour or 90 minutes. So from a profitability point of view not attractive.
The British bring in great profits, but the British still fall into two groups, the tourist and the ex-pat. The tourist will come in and may not just drink they may also buy food. I recently pointed out to Pepi he was potentially losing out because people come by pick up what they think is a menu (which is really a cocktail menu) when they realise it isn't one they move on. 'So why not get some small laminated menu's Pepi?" "I teenk dees is a good idea" he replied with gratitude. Sure enough within a week they appeared. Now you see browsers turning into customers, I really should ask for commission. Anyway, once in the tourist buys the mandatory San Miguel or a jug of Sangria. asks for the full menu and their eyes light up at the thought of meat pie chip and peas with gravy. So pies all round and a hot dog for the kids, who by now realise how close they are to the beach and wander off to play in the sand. Right next door to the marina bar is a shop that sells buckets and spades and all types of amphibious plastic for the lazy swimmers. So usually you see the odd parent wandering away from the table to buy something to keep the kids happy, whilst they indulge in a few drinks.
Every ex-pat and all the bar staff know that those on the front line are bait. Because sooner or later the people they met in the hotel last night will wander by. They will all start talking and eventually an impromptu party begins. Drunkenness is fuelled by Jesus who, I am convinced, is on commission. "Hola!" he meets and greets, takes their orders and then hovers like a vulture. He creeps over to remove the empties and instantly he shouts "uno mass, one more"? and like flies into a spiders web they have ordered more drinks without even realising it. And the more they drink the less controlled they are and the kids run to and from the beach begging their parents to come look at the sand castle, and in the process someone knock over a table full of drinks. No problem at all to Jesus it means more bought drinks, and he willingly cleans up the mess. They pay their bill and as Jesus returns with the change, he has poured out this Spanish drink for them, free of charge as a final reminder that they are the best bar in the bay. By the time they have left Jesus knows their names and he memorises them, because tomorrow as they walk past he will call to them like lost relations, which will impress them and they will be back.
The other group the ex-pats well we are different, we know the tricks and methods and we pose a bigger challenge to them. So they treat us well on prices, and always give us a free whatever we have been drinking on the house when we pay our bills, but woe betide any ex-pat who dares to drink next door in La Cala Cala bar. Jesus has been known to throw peanuts at such offenders and pull faces, which is not a pretty sight. But in general the marina bar is the cheapest in the bay for ex-pats and that show how shrewd they are in they they manage to maintain our custom.
And Benidorm, how does it manage to lure so many tourists back? Well if you are one of the many Brits who have never been but tell people how rubbish it is, come and give it a try. There is something for everyone here, its a great town, which can be sedate as well as chaotic, sober and inebriated, but always a friendly place.
Oh and wall to wall sunshine doesn't do any harm either...
Thursday, 23 October 2008
A day at El Cisne
...On the outskirts of Benidorm every Saturday and Sunday is the El Cisne market. It is a slightly posher version of an English car boot sale. So as Pete's partner Dave was away in England and I had never been, we decided to go with Pete, Patrick and Neil and make an afternoon of it. With meticulous WWII time synchronisation, we arranged to get the number 12 bus as near as possible to 1 pm and sit on the pavement side of the bus (right hand side here) so that Patrick and Neil could see we were on it, and we gave Patrick a call to say we were on it and to make sure he was at the bus stop near his apartment soon.
We arrived at his stop about 7 minutes later and only Patrick got on. Neil is the chef in the business and he works in a hot kitchen 6 nights a week so he decided to have a really good rest instead of socialising. So it was just the 4 of us. When we got into benidorm, we had to transfer to the no 10 bus which would drop us at El Cisne.
My first impression was good, it did have a car boot sale air about it, and we decided we would have a mooch round first before we considered moving into the bar, food and entertainment area.
I was transported back to my childhood with some of the stalls. One had at least half a dozen hand drills, you may know what I mean, they have a handle on a red disc and the body of the drill originally was silver with a wooden handle and a key chuck to put the drill in. My dad had one of them many years ago. So how this chap managed to have 6 for sale beggars understanding but 6 he had. There were stalls full of assorted goods (if it was yours you would call it rubbish) and some had bicycles, part built bicycles and bicycle parts. There were many second hand clothes stalls, assorted jewellery, trinkets and memorabilia.
Once we had seen all we needed to see the consensus was to go in search of food. Inside the building part of El Cisne, is a maze of bars and food restaurants and it seemed every seat had been taken. However, after some serious searching we managed to get a table for 4. I am not particularly keen on paella, its OK but when hungry I need more carbs to help counteract my diabetes pill, so Patrick saved the table and would order the drinks, Ange and Pete went for paella for the three of them and I went for a doner kebab and chips. We tucked into the food and ordered a jug of sangria for Ange and Patrick, a glass of white wine for Pete and a jug of San Miguel for me. Once dined Patrick suggested he went to find a table near to the entertainment and he would text when he did so. All went to plan and we joined Patrick a little bit cramped but in full view of the acts.
The main act that afternoon was a guy playing an electronic violin, and this chap could play. He did a few Irish jigs, and then played a guitar for a few more and he sang as well. Then he played "the devil rides to Georgia" which really brought out the guy's mastery of his violin. As the afternoon progressed, we noticed that mystic Meg from the bay (one of my previous blog stars) was around and her friend too. She was very well known with many people I suppose the fact she was three parts blotto and dancing on her own made her stand out a bit. The couple on an adjoining table referred to her as Cleopatra, which does Cleo no favours but does describe her hair style quite well.
The violinist introduced about 4 people who he said are not paid acts but had agreed to get up and do a song. The first lady sang more like Tina Turner than Tina Turner, the second did an excellent rendition of Karen Carpenter and then came "Leo" I think that was his name. He started with Frank Sinatra, now if you ever saw the film "Galaxy Quest" which was about a bunch of over the hill 'B' movie actors who were living off their fame of a TV series not dissimilar to 'Star Trek' then you would recognise that this guy, had once done something professional, but maybe slightly past his sell by date now. He could sing, but he was so very cock-sure about himself. He had that plastic look that celebrities have coiffure rather than a hair style and waxy skin as though he had theatrical make up on. And the 40s/50s/60s groupies that were hovering around the stage were clearly his focus. In the wings was Suzy, also a good singer but also well into 'self' and joined Leo on stage and did 'You're the one that I want' from "Grease". Then as time went on they ended up singing the smoochy stage show songs in a bout of over-self indulgence. Having said that me Pete and Ange decided to concentrate of the drink whilst Patrick was rapt at this spectacular. We were nearly as rapt as newts because I was at the end of my second jug of beer, Ange and Patrick well into their third jug of sangria and Pete at the end of a bottle of white wine. This didn't stop us ordering again but this time I was on whiskey.
Ultimately time caught us all up and the fiddle player would things up and did the mandatory encore, and we asked the waitress if she could organise a taxi for us, which she did swiftly and we had to quickly drink and disappear.
The taxi took us down to the Marina bar where we were expecting a group of guys who had been up to Polop for a meal. We had been there a little while when they arrived and we took 10 seats, much to the delight of Antonio the bar owner. Amongst this crowd was Jeremy and Colin, Laurence and Tony, Kevin and Barrie, me and Ange, Patrick and Pete. Our night lapsed into a bit of a drunken gathering, but it was extremely entertaining. Now whilst I was critical of the singing at El Cisne, there can be only one thing slightly more irritating..and that is Jeremy singing "I love a parade...." after several Vodka and tonics.....
We arrived at his stop about 7 minutes later and only Patrick got on. Neil is the chef in the business and he works in a hot kitchen 6 nights a week so he decided to have a really good rest instead of socialising. So it was just the 4 of us. When we got into benidorm, we had to transfer to the no 10 bus which would drop us at El Cisne.
My first impression was good, it did have a car boot sale air about it, and we decided we would have a mooch round first before we considered moving into the bar, food and entertainment area.
I was transported back to my childhood with some of the stalls. One had at least half a dozen hand drills, you may know what I mean, they have a handle on a red disc and the body of the drill originally was silver with a wooden handle and a key chuck to put the drill in. My dad had one of them many years ago. So how this chap managed to have 6 for sale beggars understanding but 6 he had. There were stalls full of assorted goods (if it was yours you would call it rubbish) and some had bicycles, part built bicycles and bicycle parts. There were many second hand clothes stalls, assorted jewellery, trinkets and memorabilia.
Once we had seen all we needed to see the consensus was to go in search of food. Inside the building part of El Cisne, is a maze of bars and food restaurants and it seemed every seat had been taken. However, after some serious searching we managed to get a table for 4. I am not particularly keen on paella, its OK but when hungry I need more carbs to help counteract my diabetes pill, so Patrick saved the table and would order the drinks, Ange and Pete went for paella for the three of them and I went for a doner kebab and chips. We tucked into the food and ordered a jug of sangria for Ange and Patrick, a glass of white wine for Pete and a jug of San Miguel for me. Once dined Patrick suggested he went to find a table near to the entertainment and he would text when he did so. All went to plan and we joined Patrick a little bit cramped but in full view of the acts.
The main act that afternoon was a guy playing an electronic violin, and this chap could play. He did a few Irish jigs, and then played a guitar for a few more and he sang as well. Then he played "the devil rides to Georgia" which really brought out the guy's mastery of his violin. As the afternoon progressed, we noticed that mystic Meg from the bay (one of my previous blog stars) was around and her friend too. She was very well known with many people I suppose the fact she was three parts blotto and dancing on her own made her stand out a bit. The couple on an adjoining table referred to her as Cleopatra, which does Cleo no favours but does describe her hair style quite well.
The violinist introduced about 4 people who he said are not paid acts but had agreed to get up and do a song. The first lady sang more like Tina Turner than Tina Turner, the second did an excellent rendition of Karen Carpenter and then came "Leo" I think that was his name. He started with Frank Sinatra, now if you ever saw the film "Galaxy Quest" which was about a bunch of over the hill 'B' movie actors who were living off their fame of a TV series not dissimilar to 'Star Trek' then you would recognise that this guy, had once done something professional, but maybe slightly past his sell by date now. He could sing, but he was so very cock-sure about himself. He had that plastic look that celebrities have coiffure rather than a hair style and waxy skin as though he had theatrical make up on. And the 40s/50s/60s groupies that were hovering around the stage were clearly his focus. In the wings was Suzy, also a good singer but also well into 'self' and joined Leo on stage and did 'You're the one that I want' from "Grease". Then as time went on they ended up singing the smoochy stage show songs in a bout of over-self indulgence. Having said that me Pete and Ange decided to concentrate of the drink whilst Patrick was rapt at this spectacular. We were nearly as rapt as newts because I was at the end of my second jug of beer, Ange and Patrick well into their third jug of sangria and Pete at the end of a bottle of white wine. This didn't stop us ordering again but this time I was on whiskey.
Ultimately time caught us all up and the fiddle player would things up and did the mandatory encore, and we asked the waitress if she could organise a taxi for us, which she did swiftly and we had to quickly drink and disappear.
The taxi took us down to the Marina bar where we were expecting a group of guys who had been up to Polop for a meal. We had been there a little while when they arrived and we took 10 seats, much to the delight of Antonio the bar owner. Amongst this crowd was Jeremy and Colin, Laurence and Tony, Kevin and Barrie, me and Ange, Patrick and Pete. Our night lapsed into a bit of a drunken gathering, but it was extremely entertaining. Now whilst I was critical of the singing at El Cisne, there can be only one thing slightly more irritating..and that is Jeremy singing "I love a parade...." after several Vodka and tonics.....
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Astany bisto
...Tourists in general allow the Spanish to earn a living, some ex-pats too. In most resorts or popular tourist towns there are a plethora of 'English' 'Scottish' and 'Irish' bars. As you walk down the street of Benidorm old and new town you can see the Union flag, George cross flag, St Andrews flag, Irish harps and welsh leeks, all meant to welcome the disoriented traveller and lure him/her into the bar or shop to buy the type of goods they can buy in Great Britain and Ireland. Hence bar names like 'Molly Malones' 'Shinanigans' 'Queen Vic' 'Red Dragon' etc.
Alternatively there are the Spanish bars, shops and restaurants, which for many of us ex-pats, are adequate, even excellent sources for our weekly and monthly shopping and entertainment outings.
I have mentioned in previous blogs that my wife Ange works in a small English supermarket (the prefix 'super' over exaggerates the size of the premises) and obviously gets many UK customers.
Their reaction to things does speak volumes about some of them. One day a Scottish couple came into the shop and began to browse, the lady picked up a small bar of Cadbury milk chocolate, and said "One euro for this? that's a pound, they are 35 pence in England" then she picked up a big block of Cadbury chocolate and added "This is four euros fifty in England that would cost a pound" My wife was keeping her own council, then the lady approached the counter and said "We have just had a meal down there (pointing in the general direction of the bay) we had a couple of beers and we each had gammon and do you know that was sixteen euros (£12.60p)" That was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak and Ange said, "Well the chocolate has to be imported from the UK hence the price, as for the price of meals it doesn't seem expensive compared to the UK considering the meal was freshly cooked, served to you by a waiter and you also had 4 beers between you and the total cost comes to about 16 euros" At which point they looked astonished and left the shop.
Then a second couple came in, this time English, The man launch into a verbal offensive as he entered "Do you ever recommend that restaurant down there" (he did name it but for the sake of keeping friends with them I will not say the name) my wife said she didn't recommend anywhere. "Well its a good job" he said. "We ordered best braising steak" said his wife. "No way was that best braising steak it was stewing steak" she bemoaned. "He (pointing at her husband) only eats peas, so I told them, he only eats peas" Curiously my wife asked "so what veg did you get" "We didn't we only got the steak and chips" she said. "Did you ask for veg" added Ange. "No we didn't, but then again we always say the best place to eat in benidorm is Ray's chippy".
My wife said "...well you can get a very reasonable meal of the day in the Spanish restaurants"
The lady said "Oh no we don't eat that muck" Ange added "Have you tried any of the English restaurants around the bay?" pointing in that direction. "The bloke said you mean at the roundabout?" Ange said "No round the corner on the sea front" "Oh no we have never been round there" and off they went. Ange didn't like to tell them that Ray's Chippy was owned and run by a Spaniard......
Alternatively there are the Spanish bars, shops and restaurants, which for many of us ex-pats, are adequate, even excellent sources for our weekly and monthly shopping and entertainment outings.
I have mentioned in previous blogs that my wife Ange works in a small English supermarket (the prefix 'super' over exaggerates the size of the premises) and obviously gets many UK customers.
Their reaction to things does speak volumes about some of them. One day a Scottish couple came into the shop and began to browse, the lady picked up a small bar of Cadbury milk chocolate, and said "One euro for this? that's a pound, they are 35 pence in England" then she picked up a big block of Cadbury chocolate and added "This is four euros fifty in England that would cost a pound" My wife was keeping her own council, then the lady approached the counter and said "We have just had a meal down there (pointing in the general direction of the bay) we had a couple of beers and we each had gammon and do you know that was sixteen euros (£12.60p)" That was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak and Ange said, "Well the chocolate has to be imported from the UK hence the price, as for the price of meals it doesn't seem expensive compared to the UK considering the meal was freshly cooked, served to you by a waiter and you also had 4 beers between you and the total cost comes to about 16 euros" At which point they looked astonished and left the shop.
Then a second couple came in, this time English, The man launch into a verbal offensive as he entered "Do you ever recommend that restaurant down there" (he did name it but for the sake of keeping friends with them I will not say the name) my wife said she didn't recommend anywhere. "Well its a good job" he said. "We ordered best braising steak" said his wife. "No way was that best braising steak it was stewing steak" she bemoaned. "He (pointing at her husband) only eats peas, so I told them, he only eats peas" Curiously my wife asked "so what veg did you get" "We didn't we only got the steak and chips" she said. "Did you ask for veg" added Ange. "No we didn't, but then again we always say the best place to eat in benidorm is Ray's chippy".
My wife said "...well you can get a very reasonable meal of the day in the Spanish restaurants"
The lady said "Oh no we don't eat that muck" Ange added "Have you tried any of the English restaurants around the bay?" pointing in that direction. "The bloke said you mean at the roundabout?" Ange said "No round the corner on the sea front" "Oh no we have never been round there" and off they went. Ange didn't like to tell them that Ray's Chippy was owned and run by a Spaniard......
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