Credit crunch and chilly nights

...Its getting chilly in the evenings now, if there is no sun it can be quite cool in the day. Ex-pats and native Spaniards have taken to wearing long sleeves and carry a coat. But the hardy tourists are still in shorts and T shirts as they wander round the bay. The annual deluge of rain has washed a large quantity of sand off the beach and into the sea. The waves are quite high, and the surfers have returned. They sit off shore waiting for the highest waves to form and then paddle with their arms before standing to ride out the wave. Now this is no Bondi beach so the surfing is short-lived but considering the Mediterranean is none tidal they are doing quite well.

Antonio and Pepi, the proprietors of the Marina bar are worrying about trade (mind you they always are). The number of visitors are dwindling now due to the season and the credit crunch may also be putting off would-be tourists as the Euro gets ever stronger against the Pound. But unexpected publicity from the Daily Express this morning is placing Benidorm well and truly on the map. Equally last night's television awards saw the series 'Benidorm' scoop the 'best comedy programme' award.

As the newspaper pointed out Benidorm has 600 bars 70 of which are British theme pubs, In the town there are 330 tower blocks mostly high rise, because Don Pedro (the man responsible for Benidorm's success and one time mayor) recognised there was little space for spread out housing he made it clear that building upwards was the best way of getting more people into Benidorm. He laid down some rules. Every apartment should have a sea view and every balcony should have sun shining on them. Today you can see apartments are angled to take advantage of the gaps between other buildings. Don Pedro died earlier this year and how much the Spanish people loved this man is borne out by the massive numbers of people who turned out for his memorial.

One thing that was in danger of spoiling Benidorm's appeal was the invention of bikinis, which offended the Catholic church and it was a public offence to wear them in public, the police used to fine people as they left the beach. So Don Pedro declared it acceptable to wear bikinis in benidorm. The church counteracted and threatened to ex-communicate him, which was about as bad as it could be in the 1950's. So Don Pedro got on his Vespa scooter and rode to Madrid for a personal interview with General Franco. Franco was so impressed with Don Pedro, that he came back with him to benidorm to look for himself and remained friends with Don Pedro until he died. The article in the Express was reporting that Professor Phillipe Duhamel, a Geographer at the university of Angers in France is asking for Benidorm to be recognised as being in the same category as 'Stonehenge', 'Taj Mahal' and the 'Acropolis' in other words a UNESCO World Heritage site. Which obviously amuses some observers, but there Don Pedro was a unique planner and Benidorm was his brainchild built specifically to satisfy the tourist.

So as Benidorm gets around 1.5 million British visitors each year, it is no surprise that the British bring a lot of income for the bars and no surprise that a shrewd brother act of Antonio and Pepi want to look after the British in their 'Bar maria' as pictured at the top of this blog.

So the singers they book each year are expected soon. If you remember last year there was Cheryl, who does a Dolly Parton tribute, and Andrea who last year did an act called 'Just a Girl' also does a 'Madonna and Cher' tribute and her web site is http://www.backstagepass.org.uk/ worth having a look and if any of my readers are from England Andrea performs there too. Their are two other acts both play keyboard.

So, the bar owners employ British singers, English translated menus with a section containing, Beef curry and chips, chicken curry and chips, fish and chips, and pie and chips. As well as traditional Spanish food such as sepia a la plancha and calamares. Last night it was a bit chilly so they also rolled out their new calor gas powered garden heaters to welcome passing trade and keep the current customer from leaving. Pepi brought the newspaper to me and asked 'Bob can you see eef der ees any eengleesh football on theeee televeesyon esta noche' So I managed to find a televised match and he proceeded to find it on his satellite remote control.

What about the Spanish customers you may well ask?

The Spanish tourists are very unlike the British. Where most British tourists like to spend on a drink and some of food, the Spanish tend to be driven by meal times and price. They rise and have breakfast, they will have a coffee around 10am and maybe a croissant or cake, at 12 another coffee and snack, and at 2 pm it is their main feeding time. They will go to a Spanish cafe/restaurant which will have a menu del dia and an a la carte section. They will eat and probably drink water, nowadays some may take wine but that is likely to be a glass not a bottle. At 4 or 5 pm they tend to go for a stroll, at the seaside this will be along the promenade known as to 'paseo' as we say to promenade and at some stage someone will need refreshment. From the Marina business plan point of view, this section of the population is lost to them and therefore discouraged from stopping by, because if within a group of 5 promenaders, one requires to quench their thirst, they will enter the nearest bar, take up 5 places and buy one drink, usually cafe cortado, or cafe Americana, or cafe con hiello (coffee and ice) and the rest will watch all talking in unison. This will last about an hour or 90 minutes. So from a profitability point of view not attractive.

The British bring in great profits, but the British still fall into two groups, the tourist and the ex-pat. The tourist will come in and may not just drink they may also buy food. I recently pointed out to Pepi he was potentially losing out because people come by pick up what they think is a menu (which is really a cocktail menu) when they realise it isn't one they move on. 'So why not get some small laminated menu's Pepi?" "I teenk dees is a good idea" he replied with gratitude. Sure enough within a week they appeared. Now you see browsers turning into customers, I really should ask for commission. Anyway, once in the tourist buys the mandatory San Miguel or a jug of Sangria. asks for the full menu and their eyes light up at the thought of meat pie chip and peas with gravy. So pies all round and a hot dog for the kids, who by now realise how close they are to the beach and wander off to play in the sand. Right next door to the marina bar is a shop that sells buckets and spades and all types of amphibious plastic for the lazy swimmers. So usually you see the odd parent wandering away from the table to buy something to keep the kids happy, whilst they indulge in a few drinks.

Every ex-pat and all the bar staff know that those on the front line are bait. Because sooner or later the people they met in the hotel last night will wander by. They will all start talking and eventually an impromptu party begins. Drunkenness is fuelled by Jesus who, I am convinced, is on commission. "Hola!" he meets and greets, takes their orders and then hovers like a vulture. He creeps over to remove the empties and instantly he shouts "uno mass, one more"? and like flies into a spiders web they have ordered more drinks without even realising it. And the more they drink the less controlled they are and the kids run to and from the beach begging their parents to come look at the sand castle, and in the process someone knock over a table full of drinks. No problem at all to Jesus it means more bought drinks, and he willingly cleans up the mess. They pay their bill and as Jesus returns with the change, he has poured out this Spanish drink for them, free of charge as a final reminder that they are the best bar in the bay. By the time they have left Jesus knows their names and he memorises them, because tomorrow as they walk past he will call to them like lost relations, which will impress them and they will be back.

The other group the ex-pats well we are different, we know the tricks and methods and we pose a bigger challenge to them. So they treat us well on prices, and always give us a free whatever we have been drinking on the house when we pay our bills, but woe betide any ex-pat who dares to drink next door in La Cala Cala bar. Jesus has been known to throw peanuts at such offenders and pull faces, which is not a pretty sight. But in general the marina bar is the cheapest in the bay for ex-pats and that show how shrewd they are in they they manage to maintain our custom.

And Benidorm, how does it manage to lure so many tourists back? Well if you are one of the many Brits who have never been but tell people how rubbish it is, come and give it a try. There is something for everyone here, its a great town, which can be sedate as well as chaotic, sober and inebriated, but always a friendly place.

Oh and wall to wall sunshine doesn't do any harm either...