The flying dutchman......

...Some days the Marina bar is full yet there is no-one to talk to. These are the days when people watching comes into its own. One such day occurred last week. My wife had gone to England for her mum's birthday, so at my usual time I went down to the bar. I found a good seat in the sun, a good view of the beach and the pavement which runs past the bar. The place was packed. To my left on the row in front of me were two Dutch couples, right in front of me next to a palm tree was another Dutch man on his own, to my right a group of German tourists had arrived and the waiters were meeting themselves coming backwards it was so busy.

I couldn't really understand much of what was being said around me until Peter came along. Peter is an Englishman and he like the odd drink - 7, 9, 11, 13 etc. Anyway, he arrived with two ladies and sat between me and the Duch foursome. Peter has a deep somerset accent and linked with a few beers it turns a little into a drawl or slur, and his way of speaking Spanish is to growl in a Spanish accent, not exactly saying anything, but I think the waiters interpret him by his body language. Whatever he intended the end result was him receiving a pint of Spanish lager.

The Dutch guys on the next table were intrigued with his behaviour. "Are you English?" one asked him "Yer, oi 'am" he replied "And werm you from?" he asked of them. "We are from the Netherlands" From then on they tended to speak in football team names, Ajax, Manchester United, Barcelona...well thats what it sounded like from where I am. "The man next to the palm tree behind you supports manchester United and he is Dutch too" said the first Dutchman. The other man nodded in acknowledgement of the reference. Now every now and then when Peter wanted a drink he would just shout out in a very loud deep gutteral drawl "heeeeeeeey peeeedrrrrrrrro mi amingo" and Pedro where ever he was would shout back "soon Pedro two, soon" (Pedro being Spanish for peter) meaning he is currently engaged and would come as soon as possible. But amongst the four German tourists to my left was a lady who clearly took exception to peter's behaviour because every time he did it she commented in a lound exclamation "gottenhimmel!" and he managed to catch her out every time she never saw it coming.

In the meantime a couple of smart looking Spanish guys had sat in front of me to the left they were maybe in their 30s, but effectively on a neighbouring table to peter. They too were mesmerised with the antics of Peter, who by this time had been joined by two young girls, if not teenagers only in their very early 20s. I think that was the real reason the Spanish lads chose their seats. But Peter was clearly known to the girls who seemed to have come specially to see him. I could hear them asking about his wife and daughter (I don't know this as a fact but think he may be estranged from his wife). At this stage Peter, who is clearly proud to be associated with the two girls is getting louder, and as the Dutch guys have had a few too now, they are laughing with him when he plays to the crowd. Meanwhile after Peter's latest "heeeeeeeeey peeeeeedddddrrrrro mi amigo" and the now associated "Gottenhimmel",happened as Pedro walks past the two Spanish lads who said something to pedro, the only word I caught was ".....culo" which is Spanish for Bottom, so you can make of that as you see fit, but it made Pedro giggle. There was a definite unease in general about Peter's behaviour, but fortunately he said to the two young ladies, "I am going to pay my bill now" and he made his way to the bar. Coincidentally, just as he had gone into the bar two Guardia Civil officers came into the bar. I am fairly certain they came for a free drink, but I do think others around thought they were arriving to sort Peter out. But it was merely a coincidence. The original ladies Peter arrived with had spent their time talking to the dutch foursome and only drank water, but left before Peter. Peter left with the two young ladies who joined him earlier.

I thought the entertainment had concluded, but you may remember the Dutch man sat next to the palm tree. I hadn't taken much notice of him as he was very quiet and seemed to be having a drink taking in the sun, but as he stood up to go to the Toilet, he had a very steady swagger, and on his table was evidence of a couple of beers and an empty bottle of sparkling wine. When he came back to the table he was considerably unsteady and holding his head in his hand once he had managed to land on his chair. He had clearly paid his bill whilst in the bar because he was putting his change in his wallet. He took the last drink of his glass, stood up with a great amount of effort, looked at his countymen, shook his head indicating he may have been a little silly, and set off with will and purpose I guess, to wherever he was staying. Remember the newly tiled wall out side the marina bar between the beach and the bar? Well he clearly didn't because he wanted to move forward, but his legs took him at 45 degrees in the direction of the wall, and when he found it he did a double axel that Torville and Dean would have been extremely proud of and dropped on the sand like a bull elephant being stunned by a poacher.........

......30 minutes earlier I would have predicted something like that happening to Peter, not the Dutchman......

The following Sunday I was in the bar with friends and at the back of the bar sat the same Dutchman, fast asleep with an empty beer glass and an empty bottle of sparkling wine.........

The Butler didn't do it!

...Its getting close to the busy season and the weather has been glorious for days now. It even feels warm at night which is a good sign that Summer is just around the corner. We have had a very busy week and still more to do.

Last night was a great night of entertainment. Paneils my favourite Benidorm Restaurant, held a murder mystery night. The menu fixed at 15 Euros per head which included the meal and the mystery. We got there reasonably prompt at 7 pm with Bob and John (new kids on the block) and Margaret, Andrea's mother. We took our seats and didn't need to look through a menu everyone needed to pre-order so that all the meals could be served at one time (not an easy task for the chef Neil, or the waiters, Patrick and Marge).

Four of us had spare ribs, and Ange had salad nicoise, For the main course 4 of us had Salmon and I had stuffed Pepper which was one of the nicest main courses I have ever had. There was rice, mushrooms, onions, spices and seasoning in the pepper and it sat in a rich tomato sauce which had a dash of chilli to spice it up. And for desert two had peach crumble Margaret had a fruit salad topped with Ice cream and I had sponge cake with dates and walnuts and custard. But we didn't eat in the conventional way. First of all, the Mystery master explained where we were (we were in an art gallery in Benidorm, which was owned by One of the suspects), who we all were and that each table had a suspect on it. I turned out to be the suspect on our table. My name was Ivor Biggun (I know what you are all thinking so I am just moving on swiftly) I was a bisexual gigolo, who was having a liaison with a wealthy widow who had bought me a yacht, a fast car and a luxury penthouse. There were 6 other suspects including her son and daughter, the Galery owner a lady in a wheelchair who was a childhood friend of her daughter, a sculptor and my ex-boyfriend! The suspects were given a script which explained what they were doing up to the discovery of a body. The body being Lady Plenty (my lady friend).

We were then served our starter. After the starter each of the suspects were in turn asked to stand and answer questions from the rest of the people in the room, this relaxed everyone and we were all in good spirits. Then we were given some evidence like a knife, a tram ticket and a cigarette lighter. We were then served our main course. After which the suspects were questioned again in the light of the discovered evidence. Then we were shown a couple of documents, one was lady Plenty's will and the other was a forensic report which showed that the knife which bore the initials of the sculptor, had the dead woman's daughter's fingerprints on. and a blood sample proved to be that of her daughters also. The finger of suspicion was firmly pointing in her direction. Now as well as me being a suspect, as there were 7 suspects but only 6 tables, John was a suspect too. he was the dead woman's son, and his sister was played by an older lady on another table who had certainly gone into character. We were not allowed to lie we had to tell the truth as we knew it. But if we liked to embelish it that was fair game. So when ever I asked her a question she said "Not you again!" and when my 'ex-boyfriend' was asked questions about me he looked at me in a very annoyed manner as though I betrayed him. It is surprising what a few bottles of does to someone acting a role. We then had dessert.

After dessert we had a summary of facts from the Mystery Master and all the suspects had a final quizzing.

The decision time was due, we were each given a sheet of paper, with questions who was the murderer? What was the motive? So everyone gave an answer. After being analysed the Mystery master asked us suspects to stand up. He then explained who didn't do it (a bit like Hercule Poirot) it wasn't the son, he sat down, it wasn't the Gallery owner, she sat down, it wasn't the sculptor, he sat down could it have been the daughter, he said "I will come back to the daughter", Was it the ex-boyfriend, no he sat down, which left me and the daughter standing. He went back to the daughter and it wasn't her either. I hadn't sussed who it wasm but it was me who did it!.....

Speachless for a week

...LAURENCE AND TONY sailed their yacht from its berth to La Cala yesterday, the picture left is when it departed. We were having lunch with Jonathan and Duncan at the time, so the picture is from our balcony. I am looking forward to the next time Ange and I are aboard, it is a great day out on the yacht. Laurence and Tony are perfect hosts.

I knew they were on their way to La Cala when I received a phone call off Laurence. And trust me that phone call was the first one I had had for just over a week. No! that isn't because I am extremely unpopular, its due to me changing mobile telephone providers. I was using 'Vodafone ES', and a few people had transferred from their provider to one called 'Telitec'. It boasts 7 cents a minute to mobiles and landlines in Spain and 5 cents a minute to mobiles and landlines in the UK. There is a connection fee of 14 cents. Texts are also cheaper. So a number of us, maybe as many as 12 decided to do the change and Jonathan took the lead to get us all moved over as smoothly as possible. On the 30th march I sent an email to a lady at Telitec along with all the details they required. In Spain it is now necessary to register pay as you go mobiles which means providing a passport number and an NIE number (a Spanish requirement if you have any financial dealings in Spain). She said it would happen between 7 and 14 days. So in the meantime I was in the UK thinking the new SIM card would arrive during my absence. It didn't. So I left things a while and then Ange got a text from something called 'Hits' which unknown to me at that time is the name of the new network provider. It said in Spanish that her mobile transfer date was the 15th April and the SIM should arrive on the 17th April. I didn't get a message. so I telephoned Telitec on my landline because on the 17th my mobile SIM card from Vodafone was disabled. The lady at Telitec said she would contact the technical guys and they will respond to me. A chap from the technical side rang me and said he had despatched both SIMs on the 15th and it would take a couple of days to arrive. this was on Friday the 17th April. The weekend loomed so I thought it is likely to be Tuesday when it arrives so I decided to wait until then before calling back. On Tuesday 21st it hadn't arrived so I emailed the lady in sales, she replied saying she had forwarded it to a man in the technical department. He eventually rang me and said it had been despateched on the 17th and that I should try the Post Office in VillaJoyosa, the post man may not have been able to deliver it for some reason. The next day I took Andrea with me to the Post Office because she had a note in her mail box saying that she was out when the delivery of her SIM card was made and we needed to sign for the SIMs. When I got to the Post office I quoted a tracking number given to me by the technical guy. They had it and gave me the package.

I got home and inserted the SIM and keyed in the code number. The screen lit up and a message said 'SIM card registration failed'. I was now beginning to lose my temper. So I sent this email:

Dear Madam,

I am not sure that anything else can go wrong. After many phone calls and eventually getting a tracking number from you I discovered my SIM card was in Villajoyosa Post Office. I had not received postal slip in my post box to say that they failed to deliver. So after a long time without phone I eventually got the SIM card today. I came home and inserted the SIM keyed in the PIN number and the message on my screen was your SIM card registration failed. My phone is an Open phone I bought it as such to take my Spanish and UK SIM cards. I have telephoned a lady who told me that someone will call me back and will I be in all day? She added it may be the SIM card....! Great another 4 weeks no doubt.

Bob

You may sense a hint of sarchasm. Nothing much happened during the day and I was told to deal directly with HITS. After speaking with Hits I sent another email:-

Dear madam,

It is now day 26 since I requested a transfer to Telitec. Yesterday I had several telephone calls to the techie, still no phone. He then put me in direct contact with HITs, who asked me all the same questions and took me through the same procedure as the techie until they realised I am neither insane, incompetent or untruthful. They then said they are putting in an 'incident' to vodafone, who supply the signal (strange that I managed to get a signal when with Vodafone which was a week ago today). I telephoned HITS this morning and the lady said there is no solution yet it is in the hands of the technical people and she doesn't know when it will be corrected.

I have lost a week's worth of business and had to buy a vodafone SIM card so that I don't lose any more, and I have now got 2 phone numbers in the system which I was trying to avoid by asking you to transfer my original one.

I think your system is flawed, I think your people are insensitive, and HITS are uncaring. I wish I had never transferred over, and will certainly dissuade others from doing so.

regards

Bob

I got a phone call from the techie almost immediately. He said "I have been reading all the emails and I am doing all I can to resolve your problem" to which I asked "and what is the solution"? He said "Well I have made you another SIM card and I am going to post it to you and it should take 1 to 2 days to arrive" I thought Deja Vu! "Don't post it, I will come to your office in Moraira and get it directly from you I don't trust the mail." He replied "I will be right back I have to go stop the mail". We arranged to meet before 2.pm. So me and Ange drove all the way to Moraira, found the office and met up with the techie. I put the SIM in and I didn't get a signal. "No signal" I said somewhat frustratedly. He said "Let me have it" and he walked outside, then came back and said "You do have a signal, but its a crap signal in here you have to go outside"..... it gave me very little faith that statement!

Sure enough I had a signal. I received a text as soon as I got outside from someone complaining they couldn't contact me. The first person I rang was Jonathan. "Guess where I am ringing you from Jonathan" I said, "where?" "From Telitec at Moraira, I went for my own SIM".

When I got home Jonathan had written a status message on his facebook. "Good news, Bob is mobile again, (he went for his SIM card) Wonder what he has to talk about on facebook now"......

Mixed weather and mixed finances

...You can't live in Spain and fail notice that Spaniards have different habits than us Brits. For example in England you walk up to a Zebra crossing and expect the car to stop as soon as the driver sees you standing there. In Spain it's more like a game of dare. Its easy to spot a tourist, they are the ones who apply the Brit code in the Spanish world and discover that Spanish breaks are quite good and the horns work well too! Equally, we Brits queue up in Banks, bus stops, cash machines, taxi ranks and so on. The Spanish do too, but and this is a big BUT, when it is someone else's turn it's every man for himself. The Spanish love their dogs. Usually small yapping little things. And I am convinced that within a few generations, the Spanish dogs will no longer need legs and evolution will change their genes, because the Spanish carry their dogs around with them. Hence very few buy Geat Danes, Dobermans or St Bernards.

Occasionally you see something funny, yesterday I was having a Mahou in the Marina Bar and I saw a young girl riding a bike along the promonade and tied to her handle bars was a larger than normal dog (which made me think the girl may not be Spanish) everything was looking fine, the girl laughing and the dog loping after. I thought "This could end in tears" I didn't have to wait long. The dog decided it wanted to sniff a palm tree and stopped dead. The bike continued until the extent of the lead was reached, and the bike stopped dead, catapulting the girl from the bike but she was fortunate enough to be at the end of the bay and flew over the wall on to the sand. She wasn't hurt but she was certainly in shock and the dog was coughing due to the strangulation of its dog collar...

...As I am writing this I am able to look through the balcony patio doors at the Mediteranean sea, its a dull day and we are waiting for Neil to call as we are off to Dave and Pete's for lunch. Even thought its dull and rainy, people are still out and about walking across the beach, and this time of year is always prone to unsettled weather on the Costa Blanca. We had thunder storms last night and the temperature is down on what it was 2 days ago. None the less its still nice here and tomorrow or the day after we will be back to glorious sun once more and by June we will be expecting wall-to-wall sun until the end of September.

The former being said, tourists from colder climates such as the UK, the nordic countries, Germany and Holland, tend to feel warmer than us who have become climatised. So as I was sat yesterday in a Shirt and sweater, I could tell non-Spanish and ex-pats from tourists. Initially they sit in the sun, but as it was sunny interspersed, with short downpours, the awning was in and out like a yoyo, and the seat cushions on and off frequently, so they sit part in the sun and part under cover. For them it was warm enough to bask, and they tolerate being wet for a short time, but what they are blissfully unaware of is how cold it gets when the sun goes down combine that with wet and it can be a very miserable trek back to the hotel.

On that theme, trekking that is, Trevor and Andrew were here for Easter and we decided to go to the Chinese restaurant for dinner one night. They had a couple of friends stopping with them who are keen walkers. During the day they had been on a walk from finestrat to Villajoyosa which is around 5 to 7 kilometers. It was a very sunny day and I think they didn't apply much sun cream so when we met up with them they were glowing. We had a superb meal as per usual, and afterwards Andrew needed to use the cash dispenser. He went to the one next to the restaurant. He put in the card and it didn't go all the way in. The screen was blank and unlikely to do anything else. Andrew was concerned, quite rightly that someone could defraud him by finding the card and using it dishonestly. By the time we caught up with him he was trying to grip the card with another card he had. "It's stuck but I can see it" he told us, so we managed to go back and get a couple of tooth-picks, came back and used them like tweezers to grip the card. It dislodged and out it popped, the thing was that it wasn't his card!!! It was someone else's. Andrew decided to take it to the Bank and swap it for his in the morning.

In the meantime it did cross our minds that if they had closed circuit television on the machine, the Policia would see three men close up fiddling with the machine as if they were interfering with it. So we are now waiting to see if we make 'El Policia cinco' on Spanish TV....

All change including a fire

...Well 2009 has so far been a pain. I have spent most of it in the UK, but I now enter a period of stability, subject to a test I had which suggests I am leaking protein from my Kidneys, so yet another tablet looms. My wife Angela is going to the UK in May so hopefully she can liaise about my medication rather than me having to go.

...So what's new in La Cala? Well! Laurence and Tony have moved their Yacht closer to Benidorm, the travelling to Denia was interfering with valuable drinking time. And so far they have many excursions. Each trip is one of discovery, discovering which of their friends are sea sick. I am told that sales of 'Sea legs' and other proprietry medicines for 'Mal de mer' have increased around and about Benidorm. The last trip stunned everyone, with the old salty sea dog Graham doing a technicolour yawn! There is hope for us all yet.

..So more updates, Andrea 'Madonna, Cher & Just a girl' singer has changed venues, she no longer sings in the Marina, but sings three nights a week next door at La Cala Cala bar. Since she moved many of us from the Marina go in to see her and have made friends with more people, both Spanish and British ex-pats.

...The Amancio building is still standing, well teetering is more appropriate. It has been in a state of delapidation for 25 years, but bits are falling off it now, and still Finestrat council do nothing about it. They say it will cost two million euros to fell it. Well me and a few friends will do it for 500,000 and as much beer as we can drink, with a couple of sledge hammers, but I guess the Health and Safety fraternity wouldn't allow that.

..Colin and Jeremy are cureently back in the UK, and Dave and Pete are planning to go home on Tuesday.

We now have an Indian restaurant in the Bay and a new 'chippy', yes a 'chippy'! And after consuming a few yesterday me Jonathan and Duncan went to dine there, just like being in Bolton...! Just need a good donna Kebab place and we have cracked it.

...The Monika Hotel is back open, however, there was a slight snag when some of the Easter guests booked in, they had no running water. So I guess thats a few customers they have lost. And the erection called the Gran Magic Atrium (pictured above), is still idle and has been since last August. It is an eyesore, and must be costing Finestrat and Villajoyosa millions in lost revenue through people visiting elsewhere where they do not have to constantly look at a building site.

..That's the update done. Two new characters are soon to feature in my blog, meet John and Bob. They moved here 6 weeks ago. They have brought quite a lot of furniture with them but have had to buy bits and pieces, like kitchen furniture and cabinets etc. I got involved with the buying of a gas fire. I offered to drive them to Carrefour where they sell such fires, the fire is a stand alone one, fuelled by a calor gas tank. We went to get it and I drove them back home and left them to sort it out. A few minutes after I got home the phone rang. "Bob its John, I think we bought the wrong thing", "Why I said" he said "It says the fuel has to be Petroleum gas". "OK John we will take it back". So off we went up to carrefour. After a significant wait the two assistants tried to tell us it was for ordinary gas, but John insisted on getting his money back and we went to Ardy's , another 'Do it yourself' outlet. We bought the right thing and a valve for the tank. We already had a gas cannister so once again I dropped them off at home and went back to my apartment. The phone rang again. "Bob its John, I thonk this one is broken!" "I'll come round John and have a look" I replied. I went to their apartment, and I got the guided tour. It is a nice apartment overlooking the sea, and Benidorm Island quaintly known by locals as 'Bird s**t Island' because all there is on it is one cafe and millions of birds. Anyway back to the fire. I looked at the fire got the valve fitted it to the bottle turned the knob and fired it up. 'What was wrong then." said John. "Nothing much, you had put the gas bottle 'on' switch to off, the fire switch in the wrong position and the gas pipe wasn't locked"...... I am waiting to hear how the self assembly cupboard is coming along........

It isn't over until.........Jeremy sings!

...At long last I am back in Spain. I was in Bolton for six weeks, both dealing with my dad's estate and using the time to do some repairs to the flat. The first thing I needed to do was to replace the windows. Although they were double-glazed they were wooden and the rain and frost has managed to tear them apart over the last few years. So I rang Grosvenor a very reputable firm in Bolton, well they are based in Horwich actually. The man came to give me a quote and when my jaw came back off my chest and I could talk again, I said I would think about it. We have five windows, two which can be considered large windows and three that you would consider small. So I thought £2,400 a bit excessive.

Roy is my neighbour in Bolton and a good chap to know if you want to get a bargain anywhere. I had a word in his 'shell-like' and he rang Malcolm his brother-in-law. Malcolm was there in a shot and said he would charge me £1,780 I was beginning to like Malcolm. So he said "It will take 2 weeks to get the frames made and a day or two to fit them, and the bill can be settled in cash if that's all right. But only after you are satisfied". True to his word Malcolm was exactly two weeks to the day and beginning to install my new windows. Now this brings me to my second major maintenance problem. A few months prior to my sojourn in the UK, a man from British gas knocked on the flat door and my son who was 'resting' from his career in TV, answered the door. "Can I come in and smell for gas." the man asked. So in he came and looked around with a gas sniffer. Apparently someone had reported smelling gas and this was the safety inspection. When he looked at the gas fire he said "Oh dear, that can't be used, its issueing toxic fumes." promptly cutting it off from the gas supply.

So, as I was sitting at the table freezing in places in places where I didn't think frost could reach, because Malcolm had removed the window and was preparing for the installation of the new one, I composed an email to the makers of my gas fire. something like...."Dear sir or Madam, I have had one of your gas fires fitted from new four years ago. It is a flueless fire and after four years only, a man from the gas board came and promptly condemned it. Now whilst I accept the guarantee has long expired, I would have expected a fire of such expense to have lasted longer than four years before being disconnected by the Gas board as a potential death-trap. Is there anything you can do to make me feel better about both your product and your company before I go to 'Watchdog'?"

I received a very nice email back from Sally which in summary explained they were despatching me a fire tray free of charge, but I would have to pay for someone to fit it. Well I don't know about you but I called that a 'result'.

So, Malcolm was paid for an excellent job done, and a Corgi gas fitter from Westhoughton, came to fit the fire and once more we had heat. It was with all of this complete I decided I had been there long enough and back to Spain for me.

Which brings us to yesterday. Our friend Patrick invited us to his apartment for Sunday lunch and we had agreed to meet more friends later in the Marina Bar. Patrick has a lovely apartment in a block at the top of the hill. His views are of the Rincon de Loix, levante and Poniente beaches. Out to sea and over the hills. He cooked us a delicious meal of Melon and smoked salmon, followed by Lamb and roasted vegetables with honey and lionnaise potatoes, finished with Patricks signature dish, Banoffee pie! Practically unable to walk due to greed! we set off for the marina, where we met up with Jeremy, Colin, Dave, Ian, Beryl and Pat.

We chatted and drank a bit and basked in the 20 degrees of sun having a whale of a time. Jeremy and Colin had been up to el Cisne (a Sunday market near Albir) and they had obviously had a few drinks there because Jeremy at least was merrier than us.

Jeremy and Colin are two of the nicest people you could, ever meet, and they are always good company. Since I mentioned his singing, however, in a previous blog, I do believe he is getting a phobia about it. I never said he couldn't sing, I just said we know when he is starting to feel the effects of whatever falling down juice he decided to drink that day, when he starts to sing. As per usual, we had a debate about several things but ultimately came around to politics. Jeremy and I sit at either end of the political spectrum. He is a great fan of Maggie Thatcher and all she stands for where as I am more like an Harold Wilson socialist, with a dash of Blair. So sometimes we tend to have opposite solutions to prevailing political and of course financial crises. But as they say in theatre it isn't over until the fat lady sings and just before Jeremy's departure, he sat back outstretched his arms and began to sing....."I'm coming out of makeup, The lights already burning, Not long until the cameras will start turning, and the early morning madness, and the magic in the making, yes everything's as if we never said goodbye......" Not that I am either likening Jeremy to 'the fat lady' nor Norma Desmand in Sunset Boulevard, I am merely pointing out that when Jeremy sings its mearly time to say goodbye.... (I told you I knew the words Jeremy)

happy and sad New Year

...Now as far as first groupie meetings go the marina Bar groupie night was small but full of quality. we had 4 people who can be classed as UK based, 2 classed as Spain based and 2 betwixt and between. However we had a good old drink and chinwag.

The Marina bar is in Winter mode now. It also seems that the proprietors Pepe and Antonio have felt the recession. There are some entertainers now. Brian Pollard tickles the Ivories on a Monday and Thursday which is aimed at the elderly rather than the young, but the elderly are the main La Cala Inhabitants. And judging by the behaviour of some people in the bay I think care in the community comes to mind. Cheryl does her show, but Pepi decided not to employ Andrea this year.

My son Ian was here for an extended stay over the Christmas break. Having observed a certain ritual between two (I assume) Spaniards, I predicted to Ian what was about to happen, when we were sat people watching at the bar in early January. "You see the guy with short legs mincing down the road towards the sea?" I asked him. "Well here is what is going to happen. He will walk down to the sea, look out towards the rocks at the end of the beach, shade his eyes as though shielding from the sun, as he searches for someone or something. He will then about turn walk fast along the road to the other end of the beach and walk back again." (I hope you are still with me) "When he returns, another guy with a mohair coat sporting a moustache, dark glasses and carrying a walking stick, will be walking down the same road in the direction of the sea. Person number one on his return, will overtake him smiling, as though he doesn't know the other guy, who will sit on the seat facing the sea. Man one will circle him like the Indians around a circle of wagons in the wild west, and man number two will try to trip him up with his walking stick. After a few minutes this ritual will end and they will embrace as friends and carry on walking together." To Ian's utter disbelief this prediction took place before his eyes. He said "why do they do it?". I said "I haven't a clue but they do it every day and one day I will have to go and ask them...."

During January I went to England for a number of reasons, one important reason was to see my Dad. He had been suffering some ill health lately and when I saw him he looked very frail. After chatting with the Doctor it was clear that he was unlikely to recover but would continue comfortably with the medication he was on for a long while, Knowing I was to return to the UK on the 31st March I flew to Spain, to return early if he deteriorated. The Doctor said I would have time to return under such circumstances. In reality it was only days after when I returned to arrange his funeral, full of regrets that I hadn't stayed until the end, but hindsight is 20-20 vision. He died aged 92 with his best pal Sam and his beloved grandson Ian by his side. He had a good send off with a Scottish piper leading the funeral procession in to the chapel.

I have therefore been in England for the end of January and will be for all of February. I have a flat in the UK and have therefore decided to do some repair work. Today I am having the windows replaced for UPVC double glazing. In Spain I wouldn't think twice about sitting on my balcony in a T shirt at the end of February and into March, but I am currently typing with no lounge window in wearing a thick overcoat and a Bobhat, and a 16KW fire burning.

So dear reader I haven't left the planet but under current circumstances I am not composing my blog on a regular basis, but normal service will resume in March when I return to the sunny Spanish shores.

But for your general information Andrea who sings under the name 'Just a Girl' and also does a 'Madonna' tribute show, is now performing in the Cala Cala bar next door to the Marina, and I think Pepi will regret not employing her this year. ..

Our next major event in La Cala will be San Juan on the 23rd June and it will be a superb event.